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“The Mummy” Something Something Stupid “Wrapped” Pun

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There’s an off-hand moment early on in The Mummy when Egyptologist Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) draws attention to the importance of the discovery that she and Nick Mortion (Tom Cruise) have made by referring to the age of the sarcophagus:  5,000 years.  Trouble is, Wallis clearly mouths “three”, not “five”.  Oh well, ADR happens.  Maybe … Read more

“Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” is a Dour Mixture of Fan Service and Risk-Aversion

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It is a tricky thing to tell a good story when practically every audience member knows the ending.  It is trickier still when you pack your story with abject fan service, telegraphed plot choices lacking any inspiration, and under-developed characters delivering wooden dialogue.  Rogue One:  A Star Wars Story is guilty of all these failings and many more.  It is not a complete disaster, though it coasts off the strength of an exciting third act and a near-fatal dose of nostalgia.  As a result, though the initial hoopla will be to declare Rogue One:  A Star Wars Story as an utter triumph, extra consideration of the film (perhaps with your gender-neuter fanperson beer goggles off) will reveal its many disappointments.

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“Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” – a Chimera of Whimsy and Banality

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Like many of the wondrous animals that inhabit its world, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is an amalgamation.  Except, unlike the hippogriff, which capitalizes on the strengths of both the eagle and the horse, David Yates’s film compromises the adventures of Newt Scamander with a plodding police procedural.  The result is less like the streamlined elegance of the hippogriff, and more like whatever happened to Jeff Goldblum at the very end of The Fly.  Every time Newt and his compatriots are on screen, the film is an absolute delight that reminds us why we fell in love with the wizarding world in the first place.  And every time they’re not, we’re reminded that David Yates is responsible for two of the three worst Harry Potter films to date.  Fantastic Beasts ends up somewhere in the middle, with no time-turner available to right the wrong and spare the life of this innocent little hippogriff.

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“Jack Reacher: Never Go Back” to This Parched Well

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Can a well be dry after a single successful trip?  Because if Jack Reacher:  Never Go Back is the best this franchise has to offer after its surprising debut, then we might as well be drinking sand.  None of the new characters are likable, the acting is hollow, and the writers deprive Jack Reacher himself of any real interest.  The plot is derivative and full of generic bad guys that make Jai Courtney look like Anton Chigurh.  The screenplay is written by three people, none of whom are named “Christopher McQuarrie”, and is populated by wooden groaners and extreme plot conveniences.  The plot is generic, and its associated “twist” is lazy and telegraphed worse than the death of Han Solo.  This is a film that is completely bereft of technique, subtlety, and intrigue.

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The Empty Store Problem: The Familiar Story of “Jason Bourne”

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Add another “L” to the campaign of sadness that is The Year of Movies: 2016 Edition.  Once again, a film has been released in an attempt o revive and further a long-dormant franchise, and like every cheap cash-in of this year, Jason Bourne fails to elicit any emotion beyond longing for the original property.  This isn’t to say that there are not stirring sequences or solid performances in the film, but there is not a single aspect of this film that was not accomplished better by a previous Bourne film.  Paul Greengrass and company certainly do not need to re-invent the wheel, but they should at least drive the car somewhere new.

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Plot and Theme’s Top 10 Films of the First Half of 2016 – Plus Complaining!

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A semi / biannual tradition begins here at Plot and Theme as I decide it is time to rank movies again according to my very own standards.  My opposition to lazy list-style articles notwithstanding, every now and then taking a glimpse of the best trees in the forest offers potentially interesting observations.  That is certainly true in this case, as I will not only briefly summarize and recount my favorite ten movies that I’ve seen released in 2016, but also discuss the relatively poor output of the big blockbuster landscape for this year.  I’ll also predict whether there are any saviors on the horizon, or if 2016 is doomed to be remembered as a year of flops, both critically and commercially.

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“Independence Day: Resurgence” is a Mess of Callbacks, Confusion, and Ret-Cons

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Like a burp that only vaguely reminds of the “flavor” of the Coors Light that you just shot-gunned, Independence Day:  Resurgence is a hollow echo of its overly-popular progenitor.   The plot of this sequel was seemingly generated by five screenwriters throwing darts at a board composed of better science fiction films and filling in the blanks with shoe-horned references to the original, at least when they aren’t ret-conning exposition into the original that was never there.  Though not quite as offensive as last summer’s moronic ‘90s nostalgia capitalization called Terminator: Genisys, Independence Day:  Resurgence is arguably more of a horrible mess and embarrassment.

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“X-Men: Apocalypse” Dooms Itself by Mismanaging Villain

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For the third time this summer, it is time to watch a superhero flick where some characters fight other characters for poorly-developed reasons.  In this specific case, it’s the X-Men universe and the film is X-Men:  Apocalypse, named after the all-power and ancient villain of the film.  The eponymous character is central to not only the plot and theme of the film, but ultimately its problems as well.  On a fundamental level, this film fails because it could not appropriately handle the character of Apocalypse, and you can almost feel it buckling under the weight of this Frankenstein’s Monster.  There are lesser problems as well, including some poorly-used characters and a mismanaged tonal consistency, but you can trace nearly every negative back to the big-bad.  Thus, despite introducing intriguing new versions of beloved characters, this is a poor end to the new X-Men trilogy.

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“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows” Has a Long Title and is Also Terrible

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Don’t let’s try to pretend that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have ever been the patron saints of verisimilitude.  Even in their original medium of the comics of Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman, there is a tongue-in-cheek flavor that is comfortable with the idea of anthropomorphized turtles who study the art of ninjitsu.  But, there’s a distinction between embracing absurdity for stylistic purposes and simply abandoning logic when telling your story, and the second TNMT film, Out of the Shadows, is embarrassingly guilty of the latter.  There are still moments that you can kick up your feet and enjoy some of the teenagers’ interactions and feats, but most of the time watching the latest Turtles is spent scoffing, laughing, and quizzically squinting at the screen in a vain attempt to understand why.

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A Foundation of Duality: How “Warcraft” Establishes a Unique and Thematic Fantasy World

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The challenge facing director Duncan Jones with Warcraft:  make a high fantasy video-game flick relying heavily on CGI for one of the races.  What could go wrong?  Fortunately, much less than you would think.  Most of the issues with the film involve specific plot elements, and few of the characters are under-developed (especially the human ones).  But, the visuals are astounding, the world-building is impressive, and the lore introduced in this film should provide ample foundation for more nuanced exploration of the world in the future.  Warcraft has its faults, but its unique structure explores themes of racial tension, corruption, and legacy in ways that few other fantasy films can accomplish.

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